Noticing the Changes

Ahh, it’s almost 11:00 pm and I haven’t gone to bed yet! Confession: I am an old lady, I go to bed before 10:00 pm almost every night and am a failure without at least 8 hours! I love those zzzzz’s 🙂

I am up later than usual finishing a paper due, and studying for two exams that are tomorrow. Professors who make exams occur on Friday= pure evil. It’s my own fault I have put off studying until now, and I am clearly still procrastinating as I am choosing to blog instead! Muahaha.

On that note, I had such a refreshing afternoon! The sun was shining bright, the temperatures were above (gasp!) 40 degrees and I went to free sample night at Whole Foods with my best friend Danielle!

This particular store has one free sample night per month each time with a different theme, and you better believe we ALWAYS go to them. She is the only other person I know that gets as excited as I do about grocery shopping. Tis the joy of the month for us (perhaps that’s a bit sad… :P) Today’s theme was “Local Night” where farmers and other store owners around the area brought in some products to try.

As we walked through the store, I sampled gluten-free pizza, gelato, soy milk, bread, candy, and fruit. Overall, the foods were tasty! Yet there was something even better going on, I was actually eating the food I wanted to try.

Before getting a hold on my disordered eating, I would go to events like this and walk around and kind of just look at the food that could be sampled. I picked out groceries as I walked around, but I would not touch the samples that were out. I watched others eat them and I was somewhat envious, yet that feeling of enpowerment was rearing its ugly head, making me feel eletated– that I had the control over myself from eating anything I deemed “unsafe.”

You are probably wondering on earth I would even go to an event with free food I was not going to eat. You know what?! I wonder that too. It was almost like a test for myself, going into a store and seeing what I could resist. I believe this goes along with why I watch Food Network and other food shows constantly. I genuinely enjoy them, but at the same time it’s FOOD PORN from Wikipedia, (provocative term variously applied to a spectacular visual presentation of cooking or eating in infomercials,  cooking shows or other visual media, foods boasting a high fat and calorie content, exotic dishes that arouse a desire to eat). I am looking at the wonderful recipes being created and thinking how great it looks, yet something I would never eat.

It’s a step in the right direction toward recovery and I am glad I am overcoming these seriously effed up thoughts. 🙂 I even splurged a bit and bought some items from the hot and cold food bar, I can’t resist that dang thing!


Mmm Pretty Fruit!



Before going back to campus I needed requested a coffee.


Need coffee now!

We made a stop at my personal favorite place for coffee, Dunkin Donuts! Starbucks is good and all, but I just can’t go wrong with a coffee less than 2 bucks and I savor its perfect light flavor 🙂

Uh oh, it’s pushin 11:30 pm and I still have some studying to do! Time to get PUMPED for that

Fake it till you make it right? 😉

Is anyone else as obsessed with Food Network/other cuisine shows, as me?!Can any readers relate to this kind of scenario, almost torturing yourself with food? Does anyone else LOVE TO STUDY?! Because I do! (Errrr…not.)

Have a lovely night!



Filed under Below The Surface, Confession, Disorded Thoughts, Disordered Eating, Friends, Product Review, Serious Stuff, Whole Foods

4 responses to “Noticing the Changes

  1. wait what? You go to Umass?? so close!! and you also go to bed at 10pm- hooray for old ladies 🙂
    whole foods is awesome!! What day is sample day, I’ve been meaning to go/find this out…
    I totally understand the food torture thing but lately I’ve been allowing myself more, just like you!!
    I’m going to email you!

  2. YES to all of the above. I am always watching the Food Network (obsessed), even when I am working out. I used to do the same thing at whole foods especially at the hot food bar; looking at all the food I would love to, but would NEVER, eat. I am glad you overcame this as I have, too. Looks delicious!!

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